Hopeful Critic Lagi Bingung

7/31/08

Today this hopeful critic is bingung – confused.
For about a month I was traveling with my brother around Vietnam, Cambodia, Singapore, and Indonesia… and I got back to Florida, my home state July 8th, and since then I’ve been ok chillin/entertaining family, job searching, catching up with people, and but of course playin’ capoeira.

I’ve had a few weeks to write , but I didn’t know the words to wrap this up. I guess it’s an unfinished journey … but the Fulbright ETA part has surely ended. So I’ll tell you about my transition thoughts…

For the first time since I’ve been back in the US, an overwhelming weight has settled on my heart and in my throat. (That sounds so cheesy, but that’s really how it feels!)
ahm.. In capoeira today the professor was talking about the family vibe you can find in capoeira groups… He made me think of my family networks that have grown out of not only capoeira, but also dance, school, sports, and livin with my grandpa ;)

I am blessed to have these friends and family around the world that have connected with me at different points in my life… and I know that I’m lucky to live in this generation where I can keep these ties with a click of a button. … but I can’t be there.

So much of me is attached to different places, groups, issues, and people that all that’s left is salty cheeks and a wandering mind.

Now I’m not sure what’s the next step, but hopefully something that I can go into with the same passion and excitement that I had for being a Fulbright ETA in Indonesia. After catching up with people with varying stories of success, struggle, and life at square one … I’m stoked to get through one of these open doors, but there’s so much research to do! And when you like to hike and you like to cruise, how do you know whether to take the paved or unpaved roads? Why can’t there just be a choice of blue or red pill?

Mt. Rinjani, Lombok ~ 3 day hike 6/28/08